Schmohz Brewing

During the past two weeks, I've been exploring my new surroundings of greater Grand Rapids, MI (site of the American Homebrewers Association's National Homebrew Conference in June 2014). So far, I've enjoyed beers at three local breweries (and hope to visit several more). These experiences, then, give me something to write about, something to report back to those of you who weren't able to be there to experience them with me firsthand. It is my hope that my reports will inspire you to get out there and visit your local craft breweries, if not the same ones I've visited.

Of the local breweries I've visited in Grand Rapids so far, Schmohz (as its name and slogan, "Do something everyday, then reward yourself with a Schmohz," might imply) most closely exemplifies the cultural institution of the local watering hole. A veritable "Cheers," because sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. Schmohz is that kind of place. The outside is fairly non-descript, with only a "Schmohz Brewing" sign and a small, car-filled lot to distinguish it from its industrial park surroundings. But upon entering, one becomes immediately aware they are in a dive bar. There are sparsely (if at all) decorated walls, a concrete floor, a bulletin board, men with beards and beer bellies, a pinball machine, losers sitting at the dimly lit bar wearing "activity" pants, and a cute (in her own way), little bartender who appears over-worked, but diligent in her duty to tend bar, fill/empty the dishwasher, and keep "activity" pants guy drinking and believing he has some kind of chance with her.

I took a seat in the middle of the bar and began to take it all in over (what I would later realize was a 9.5% DIPA deceptively/dangerously disguised as an imperial? IPA) a pint of Hopknocker IPA, a respectable pour of dark orangey-caramel elixer with lasting if harsh bitterness bearing a label with a well-endowed, scantily clad, blonde-haired, Belle from Beauty & the Beast-looking vixen. Isolated from Schmohz atmosphere, the beer was, well...mediocre. I've definitely had more memorable IPA's, and the "Oktoberfest" was actually cloudy (not a big deal overall, but unexpected from a lagered beer). What kept me there was definitely the atmosphere and the opportunity to just sit and listen to all the conversations being had by the mix of patrons. Oh, and free popcorn, which helped to quell (not really) my buzz long enough for me to get to the equally mediocre Chinese buffet down the street. I think, most of all, I stayed because I had fled from work and was avoiding going home. Schmohz is one of those quintessential "third places," like the barbershop or salon, where you can be yourself or someone else, or somewhere in between. Despite the quality of the food and/or drink, these establishments are vital to the creativity and growth of our communities. Stay tuned for another blog post on my experience of another such place, albeit of a different quality. Get out there and discover your local haunts! Be Fermentive!